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I can’t believe this day has finally came! Tomorrow. I begin my big journey. And all alone! On the one hand I’m so excited, but on the other, I’m terrified.

I’ve never travel a lot, so a trip around the world seems to be so scary. Also being my own company doesn’t seem very comfortable. I don’t remember truly being on my own and with myself. Ever. But the decision is made and I’m not gonna back out now. I have to trust that grandma knew what she was doing booking the trip for me.

If she only knew what struggle I had to go through to fulfil her plan…

Obviously my parents were extremely worried about my lonely journey. Their only daughter, all alone in a big world, as my mum said it. They thought that I’m crazy for even considering taking it. I would lie saying I wasn’t worried too but last two months I’ve spent preparing for the journey (and fighting with everyone around). I think I’ve read every travel blog possible, made a research about every country grandma set for me to visit, got in touch with some women travellers. I do feel prepared and ready.

Unfortunately negotiating with Rick turned out to be harder than with my parents. He was super against my trip. Not the safety even but the fact that we will be apart and we won’t pursue with preparing the wedding as we planned.

We are together for 3 years now. Rick is a great guy, driven, ambitious and loving. But he likes things to go in a certain way. His way.
When we met he was already finishing his university and shortly after he took a short gap year (more like half year) that he spent in Europe. It didn’t affect our relationship at all neither he asked for my permission to go. But he felt that now, when we want to get married in a year I shouldn’t go on a trip like that. He wanted me to get some internship and take care of planning the wedding as he was too busy to be bothered by that.

But I wanted to go so badly. I have always dreamt about traveling and I also strongly believe that grandma knew what she was doing leaving me that incredible gift. I really wanted to fulfil her wish.

But I felt really guilty as well. I loved Rick and I definitely wanted to marry him. I also promised I will take care of all the wedding arrangements. Although being truthful my dream was to have a little getaway wedding on some beautiful island. But Rick wanted to have a big party, with all the families, friends and what more important with influential acquaintances. I agreed with him that it’s a right thing to do. And now I want to go for a long journey… I told Rick that we don’t have a date yet so if we set it three-four months after my return I will manage to organize everything. He really wasn’t happy and I felt bad about it. This journey was such an amazing gift, one in a lifetime opportunity. I just wanted Rick to share the happiness and excitement with me.

Instead I felt really guilty for going. At some point I even considered not taking the trip.

But my best friend, Agatha, told me I would be crazy to reject such a gift and waist a huge opportunity.

If Rick inherited a trip like that today, do you think he would think of not accepting it? He would use the chance and have an amazing time! Why should you be any different? It was always your dream, you don’t have any other commitments, no kids, work, nothing. Everything is paid for you. Such an opportunity doesn’t happen to everyone. It’s a miracle! I wouldn’t say a thing if you were the one who has concerns and doesn’t really want to go. But it’s your dream come true! You can’t just waste it. I won’t let you!

But I want us to be good, I love him.

And you will be good. He loves you as well, so I’m absolutely sure once he sees your excitement and hears about your adventures he will be happy for you. You will see. Now stop whining and finish packing. Your trip starts tomorrow!

You are right.

And so I’m sitting in my kitchen in the middle of the night. Excited, scared, nervous, happy. I’m looking at my backpack and can’t believe that it’s real. Oh, grandma. I hope you knew what you are doing and that you will take care of me from above. And you, big wide world, be ready, I’m coming!

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